Chapter 2

KHUSHI sat in the train looking out of the window, and as the train left the Bangalore railway station, she felt a strange trepidation envelop her body. She had no idea what awaited her at her destination. Whatever it was, she wasn’t going to make it about Arnav Singh Raizada.

If embarking on a journey to a new destination was tough, leaving behind a life that which was seemingly going well, was another ballgame altogether.

When she had submitted her resignation to Rishabh, he had been visibly shocked. After trying to reason with her, he had finally acceded.

 Okay, I get it – whatever you heard the other night must have come as a big shock---you take as much time as you want. I am leaving for Los Angeles tomorrow. Let’s talk after I get back.

Why did he have to be so gentlemanly all of a sudden? Guilt assailed her. Had she in some way given Rishabh the impression that there could be a future between them? She also wondered if she had been really as clueless as she liked to believe, or if it was a case of commitment phobia?

Just after she had started working at the newspaper, out of the blue, she had received a proposal from her best friend’s Anisha’s older brother. He was an electronics engineer, trying to set up his own company. Her friend had been very excited with this new development. Unfortunately she hadn’t felt the same. Even though she had known him for five years, she had always thought of him as her friend’s intimidating older brother and nothing more than that. After going out on a nerve wracking outing with him to a movie and dinner, she had avoided her friend for a few days, making it clear that she wasn’t interested in the alliance. In hindsight, she wished she had behaved in an more mature manner and talked to her about it. After that, Anisha had stopped talking to her.

Why did this keep happening to her, she wondered.

She hadn’t been able to meet Deepana as she was busy with Durga Pooja preparations. But she had called her on the phone and apologized.

I am sorry Khushi. The reason I hadn’t told you all this earlier is because I don’t believe it helps anyone to re-visit the past. I always believe in moving on in life.

She had avoided talking about Rishabh and Khushi was thankful for that. After the conversation, it suddenly flashed to her that she needed to move away from Bangalore for a while. Going back to Chennai was out of the question. What was she going to tell her mother? How would they manage their finances? After her father’s death, she had inherited the house but unfortunately her dad had leased the ground floor to a family for five years and the contract was unbreakable. She was grateful for the small two bedroom space upstairs that her dad had occupied before his death. She definitely needed to look for a new job soon. It was then she had found a student counsellor’s position open at KDM Polytechnic College in Udupi. When she had emailed her resume to them, they had immediately accepted it and told her to start with them as soon as possible.

As the train entered the scenic Western Ghats, Khushi's thoughts went back to her childhood days.

As a child, she remembered being a mischievous brat who always annoyed her older sister. They had played together at times and  fought like cats and dogs at other times. She remembered how her mother would yell at both of them. Payal would get upset but it didn’t bother her one bit. Then when Payal had entered her teens, things changed. She had become caught up in her own life, her studies and had distanced herself. Khushi realized much later that the tension between their parents had a big role to play in this. The problems had only increased after her death. None of them knew how to fill the gaping hole in their family.

People often realize the value of something only after they have lost it.

She'd never get the chance to go on shopping escapades, movies, dance at her wedding or play with her niece or nephew. She was sure her parents would have gone through the same pain. Nothing was ever going to be the same again. But life had to move on.

Going to Udupi, beautiful South Canara -- with its lovey greenery and beaches where Payal had spent a few years of her life, might give her a semblance of closure. And that is what this journey was going to be about.

In the evening, Khushi visited the Shettys, and as they had insisted, she decided to stay with them for the next few days.

That night as she sat on the bed in the room, she remembered how she had shared this very room with Payal and Vibha ten years ago. Vibha was Shetty uncle’s daughter who was two years older to Khushi. She also had a younger brother Vicky who was the same age as her. They had all sat together and played cards and watched movies. The Shettys were a very chilled out couple and their positive energy was contagious. It had felt so good to be part of such happy family.

She stood up and walked to the small balcony. The butterflies in her stomach wouldn’t go away. As she had stood in front of the college building that morning, she had a sudden attack of nerves. The location seemed very remote, in a village called Tonse, about 8 kms from the city of Udupi which didn’t mean anything in Bangalore. But here, it seemed very far.

What the hell was she thinking? This was not Bangalore. She had never ever put herself out of her comfort zone before. Trying to do that in Chennai had turned out of be a complete disaster.

The meeting with the principal Mrs. Shenoy, had transpired in an expected fashion. After the initial formalities, the older woman asked her to start the following Monday, giving her the rest of the week to look for accommodations.

What was she going to do about accommodations? The Shettys were leaving for Australia to visit Vibha who was expecting her second child, and so this option was out of the window.

After the meeting this morning, Somesh the office peon had taken her to look at some accommodations. The places that she had seen were had very basic facilities. They were dorms for students rather than for working women. These places were pretty much a huge rectangular hall, with rooms made of thin makeshift wooden partitions. They had one common bathroom with a boiler instead of a geyser for hot water. Some places didn’t even have that,  equipped with just a copper pot and furnace where one had to fill water in the pot and wait for the fire to heat the water. She never knew such things existed.

Somesh had sheepishly admitted that most of the staff were local to the area, and had their own accommodations. The working women's hostel in Udupi city was too far to commute every day, but she would have no choice.

Suddenly her phone rang. "Hello?" she said.

"Madam, it’s Somesh. You had asked me to find PG accommodations close by --" Somesh sounded very excited. "My wife, Ratna has found one which might suit you the best."

Somesh had been absolutely right. When she had arrived at the address Somesh had given her, she couldn't believe it. There was a beautiful house embedded in the woods, a walkable distance from the college campus. The two-storied house was painted beige, with sloping roof and tiles that were discolored to a rusty brown due to age. The house had an long verandah in the front covered by grills. The house also had a lush green lawn and a beautiful garden around it. She could see hibiscus, plumeria and flowering plants like lilies, geraniums and some others she wasn’t aware of. And this house like other parts of South Canara was surrounded by tall coconut trees. Inside of the house had red oxide flooring, and wooden pillars with ancient traditional carvings on it.

But more beautiful than the house was its owner Mrs. Sharanya Rai, a woman in her sixties with completely gray, short hair. Khushi was pleasantly surprised to know that she was the ex-principal of the KDM Polytecnic college.

"My husband and I came here six years ago after his retirement as dean of MSIT in Bangalore–" she paused, "he passed away last year," she explained.

"I am sorry to hear that Mrs Rai." Khushi said.

As they were served coffee by the maid, Mrs Rai said, ‘This is Ratna. She is the one who told me that you were looking for a place to stay. Somesh is her husband."

"Your house is extremely beautiful." Khushi complimented her, "it looks like ancient architecture."

"Thank you – yes this is an ancestral home that belonged to my family."

Khushi decided to say the things that were weighing on her mind since she had seen the house. "I am afraid I will not be able to afford this place."

Mrs Rai smiled. "Can you cook?" she asked.

"Yes." Khushi nodded her head, "I have been cooking for myself this past year. I am not an expert, but I am learning."

"If you don’t mind cooking for two people you can stay here for free." She said simply.

"That won’t be necessary –"

She didn’t let her finish. "Khushi, I will be honest with you. I live here alone while my son lives in the USA.

"Recently I have been suffering from bouts of vertigo. I have been finding it difficult to cook. This is probably temporary and I will get better soon. Not many are willing to come all the way from the city just to cook for one house. The ones that live close by are not very good cooks. Ratna helps me cut vegetables but she is really a very bad cook." She laughed.

"Ratna and Somesh live in the quarters behind this house and there are other families living near-by, so there is no danger here, but it would be nice to have someone like you for company."

 "The hard part is that you will have to cook in the mornings before you leave for work. After that you are free to come and go as you please. There is no pressure whatsoever."

"You don’t have to decide right away," She assured her, "think about it and let me know. And please don’t think that you are supposed to be my care taker and that if anything happens you will be responsible."

After all that Mrs Rai had said, Khushi didn’t have the heart to refuse. "Mrs Rai, I will have to let you know that I am vegetarian."

"Work perfectly for me," the old woman smile, "Welcome to this home dear."

The moment she entered her room she realized how right her decision was. The room had simple but ornate furniture. There was a four poster bed in the center, a dressing table in one corner and a tall cupboard, all in rosewood, contrasting well with the yellow colored walls. There were light colored curtains on the square windows with vertical iron bars. Since this was coastal weather and in the absence of an air conditioner, she was thankful for the fan and the mosquito net. She would have to get used to this. The problem with Bangaloreans was they were spoilt with great weather most of the year, she thought to herself.

As Khushi walked through the shortcut in the woods on her way back from work, she thought about beautiful the landscape was. The longer route was along a river and was equally scenic. The smell of eucalyptus in the air felt so heady and soothing at the same time. Listening to the chirping of the birds were music to the ears. The air was fresh. It was heavenly after having lived in a concrete jungle all her life. She couldn’t believe it was two months since she had come here.

Coming here was the best decision she had ever made. She had settled well in her new job as a counsellor, considering that she had never done this before. In the first one month when she had nothing to do she had begun to wonder if that the college really needed a counsellor. Then a female student had come in crying about how she hated studying computer science when she actually wanted to study English. That’s when her job began. It wasn’t easy, but when she was eventually able to bring a smile on the girl's face, she realized this was what she wanted to do. All the girl wanted was someone to vent out her feelings to. She may feel low again some other time, but for that day, all was well.

She had just visited the hostel Payal had stayed at. She couldn’t find the room she had lived in, but the security guard had been kind enough to show her one of the empty rooms. It was small but bright and airy room with two cots, each aligned against the wall with a window and one more on the opposite wall. However, there were two sets of cupboards, two study tables making it clear that three students had to share a room meant for two.

As Khushi walked into the house she heard Mrs Rai's frantic cry. "Khushi! Help me -- I fell in the bathroom -- I am not able to move."

Khushi rushed into Mrs Rai’s bedroom and entered her bathroom. She saw the old day lying on the floor wincing in pain. "What happened aunty? How did you fall?"

"I think the water on the bathroom floor hadn’t dried after Ratna washed it today. I usually am so careful, but I was so preoccupied with my writing –I  just walked right in and slipped."

Later that night, Khushi was exhausted with all that had happened in the last three hours. Mrs Rai had insisted on going to the nearest nursing home, sure that it was just a sever catch and would be resolved with an injection. But after the x-ray, it had become clear that she actually had a hip fracture and would need surgery to set the bone. The doctors had recommended a bigger hospital that would have all the necessary equipment for what was a major surgery that involved inserting a screw to keep the bone in place. After taking care of the admission process Khushi stepped into the ward and sat by the old woman.

"Khushi, I know you are very tired," she spoke feebly. "Why don’t you go back home? I am only going to sleep in the night. The nurses will take care of me. You can come back fresh for my surgery tomorrow."

"Don’t worry about that aunty," Khushi assured her, "I will manage."

"But there is no cot here –"

"Today I will just sleep on the chair. Tomorrow I will get a blanket and a pillow."

The old woman teared up. "Thank you my dear. What would I have done if you weren’t there?"

Early next morning, Khushi went back to the house, hoping to catch an hour of sleep before heading back to the hospital for Mrs Rai’s surgery. She was out the moment her head hit the pillow. Then she heard loud banging. She thought she was dreaming and put a pillow on her head. As the banging continued she sat up in bed with a start. There really was someone at the door.

‘Coming!’ she shouted as she hurried to the door and opened it. Expecting to see Ratna she was all set to give her a piece of her mind.

"Why the hell did you have to come early –" her words stuck in her mouth when she saw that it was not Ratna. She rubbed her eyes to see more clearly, but the sun was in her eyes.

 A tall, lean man with broad shoulders stood on the porch. He wore jeans that were torn in different places, a t-shirt and a jacket over it. She notice a Royal Enfield park on the lawn outside. He looked like a weary traveler. "How can I help you?" She asked him groggily.

"You must be the care taker," he rasped. He stepped up to the door and pushed past her.

From close quarters he looked bigger and menacing. "Hey you can’t just barge in like this!" Khushi began to panic. "Who are you?"

He turned around and looked down at her. "So you left ma at the hospital and are here -- enjoying your beauty sleep. I don’t understand why she hires incompetent people!" He walked toward the kitchen.

Khushi ran into her room and grabbed her phone. She came out and looked at him.

"I am going to call the police if you don’t leave!" She threatened him, holding the phone high up.

"Why would I leave my own house?" He drawled as he drank a glass of water.

That was when it hit her that he had said Ma. "What?" Mrs Rai had probably called her son! "Are you Mrs. Rai’s –"

 "I am Arnav."

"Arnav?" Khushi looked at him, her face pale. Why did that name make her heart skip a beat. There were many people named Arnav.

"Arnav Singh Raizada." He said his full name.

Khushi couldn’t breathe for a moment. She felt like a ton of bricks had hit her. Of all the places she could have stayed, she had chosen this one. What sort of trick was fate playing on her?

Khushi paced the floor in her room, agitated. The last few days were hectic and she was glad that Arnav had shown up. He had moved Mrs Rai to a private room and had taken care of the night shift. She had taken turns during the day, taking home cooked meals for her.

Now that Mrs Rai was discharged, she would have to let him know who she was. She walked up to Arnav’s room and knocked on the door.

Arnav opened the door his eyes drowsy from sleep.

"I need to talk to you." She said in a rush. Her heart was pounding fiercely in her chest.

"What is it?" He asked in his husky voice.

"I am –" words stuck in her throat. His eyes were boring in hers.

"You are what -- Ms Khushi?" He asked his tone laced with impatience.

"I am – planning to move out." She told him in one breath. All her carefully prepared speech had gone down the drain in that one instant.

"Look, I am sorry about the other day," Arnav said, looking at her intently, "I thought you were the caretaker. Ma told me that you are working as counselor at the college and – all that." He waved his hand in a way that was supposed to mean that he knew all the details.

"It’s okay." Khushi gave him a cursory smile. "But that’s not why I want to move out."

When he kept looking at her like he wanted her to continue, she said, "Oh the thing is this was supposed to be temporary -- I have this place I had seen earlier – also I have family friends --  it isn't really convenient to stay with them but –" Khushi knew she was blabbering.

Arnav cut her off. "You can’t leave." he was shaking his head.

"Sorry?" Khushi asked, her eyebrows raised.

"I need to leave for Delhi tomorrow. It will be for a couple of weeks."

"But ---"

"Where am I going to find a cook at such a short notice?"

"I am not a cook!"

"That's quite clear,' he drawled.

Was he implying that her cooking was bad? Before she could give him a rejoinder, he continued. "What’s your problem?" he demanded, "I heard from Somesh that you didn’t like any of the places he showed you. So why don’t you adjust for a couple of weeks? We will work something out when I get back. Now if you will excuse me --" He shut the door in her face.

Later that night, Khushi stood in her room, looking out of the window into the woods. She had gone up to his room to tell him about herself, but she had frozen and blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. But after giving it a thought she'd realized that it was a good thing. She could just leave. After all, he hadn't recognized her.

He hadn’t recognized her.

 She looked at herself in the mirror. She had to admit that she no longer looked like the lanky sixteen year old with long, straight hair and acne on her forehead. Now, she had put on some weight, especially around the hips. Her hair was styled in layers and had copper-coloured highlights in them. She had also lost most of her tan. Even her sister's friends hadn’t recognized her when they had met her last year.

She didn’t recognize him either. Now, he sported a beard and it looked like it was a while since he had the last hair-cut. Her memory of what he had looked like exactly was very hazy, and not for lack of trying. The only memory of him was his mesmerizing eyes, the color of molten chocolate. If her memory served her right, those eyes had sparkled with warmth when she had danced with him. Now, they were just a little bit intimidating. She had felt heat creeping up her face when he had looked at her. It was probably because she had to come up with a sudden excuse about her stay. Yes, that's what it was. It was an unusual situation.

 "What’s your problem?" he had asked. She wished she could have said "You."

Just when she had thought she was not going to make this journey about Arnav Singh Raizada, he had entered her life like a whirlwind.