Chapter 18

Khushi woke up shivering, her pillow in her hand. She heard the soft whirring noise of the AC and realized that the power was back and that Arnav had left the room at some point.

As Khushi entered the kitchen to help HP set up the table for breakfast, she saw Mrs. Indrani Raizada standing in her silk night dress and robe, looking annoyed.

"What's the matter auntyji?" she asked the older woman.

"It's HP!" she exclaimed, "that blasted man has gone to his home town. Who will do all his work here. I am trying to arrange for another cook but I can't find anyone on such short notice."

"Don't worry auntyji," Khushi said quickly, "I can make breakfast."

"Are you sure?" she asked her.

"Of course!" she said, "I used to cook for Mrs. Rai back in Udupi." Khushi realized that Mrs. Raizada probably didn’t want to hear about Mrs. Rai.

"I see," she said slowly, "but we don't eat south indian food here."

"I can make north indian food as well," she said, "my family is actually from Lucknow. Don't worry auntyji I have been helping Hariprakashji in his cooking. I will manage."

"You are very resourceful, aren’t you?" Indrani looked at her sharply. "Alright, go ahead." She walked away, her high heels clicking on the hard tiles.

Anjali joined her in the kitchen and helped her prepare breakfast. "I didn’t know you were making breakfast."

"You don’t have to do this Anjaliji." Khushi told her earnestly.

"We all have to earn our keep in Raizada kingdom or rather queendom." She quipped.

"I know you have a very busy week at work."

"I don't know what my aunt is up to," she said, "I can't believe she can't find a cook."

"It's okay," Khushi said, "I am happy to help. I was feeling like I was overstaying my welcome."

"Don’t worry about it. My aunt and uncle are filthy rich Khushi and it's not like they can't afford it. But my aunt just doesn’t like people," Anjali said, "I was never allowed to bring home a guest when I grew up here."

At breakfast, Anjali made sure she let everyone know that it was Khushi who had made breakfast.

Arnav clenched his jaw. "Where's HP?"

"He has gone to his hometown." Mrs. Indrani said, "Poor guy hardly gets any leave. I really feel so bad for him."

"Why are we making a houseguest cook for us?"

"She offered Arnav," Mrs. Raizada said, "apparently, she did this in – which is that place – I don’t get that name."

"Udupi," Khushi supplied, "I am happy to help," Khushi said in a rush wondering why Arnav was making big deal about this.

"Don’t we have a cook who comes in later in the day?" Anjali asked, "can’t she come in early?"

"Do you think she has no other work?" Indrani asked, "she is a busy lady."

"I am sure we can find another cook to come in to make breakfast." Arnav said looking at his step mother.

"Feel free to find one for me." His step mother shot back.

"Don’t worry about it Arnav. I will help Khushi," Lavanya offered affably.

Two days later on Sunday morning, as Khushi stood in the kitchen, fretting over the fact that Arnav had conveniently forgotten about their kiss and was carrying on as though nothing had happened, Lavanya walked up to her. "You have to help me make chicken gassi today.

"Sure." Khushi smiled at her.

"The truth is -- I want to make it for Arnav," she said, "he told me that it was his favourite food."

"I see." The fact that Lavanya was trying very hard to impress Arnav irked Khushi.

"The best part is that he hasn’t even tried to impress me," she said, "in the past month, all he did was help me understand business. None of my boyfriends have ever done that in the past.

"This is the kind of person I want in my life, someone who can support me."

Khushi was relieved to hear that Arnav was spending time with Lavanya to help her with her business in same way he had helped Rashmi. She had unnecessarily let her imagination run wild.

"Remember I told you about beauty being power?" Lavanya reminded her.

"Yes."

"Apparently, it doesn’t work on Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada."

"Why do you say that?" Khushi asked her curiously.

"He seems to be immune to such things," she said, "I stood in front of him in lingerie – but that had no effect on him whatsoever. So, I decided to try a different tactic to impress him."

Khushi was speechless. Immune? Was she talking about the same man who had come into her bedroom, given her a mind-blowing kiss and held her tight as he slept next to her? Khushi didn’t know whether to feel happy or sad. But one thing she surely felt was guilt.

Later that night, Khushi stood in the utility area doing the dishes. Though the palatial house had two maids coming in during the day, some of the utensils that would be needed for morning breakfast, were washed by HP in the night after dinner.

The utility area was at the rear end of the house, behind the kitchen, overlooking a beautiful garden which was now shrouded in darkness. She could hear the sound of crickets chirping as she scrubbed the plates using a scrounging pad.

She thought of how Lavanya had finally passed off her preparation of chicken gassi as hers. She didn’t blame the poor girl as the recipe could be quite tedious for someone who couldn’t cook. By the time they had started to make neer dosa, Lavanya had lost patience. She had been ready to throw the pan outside the window when the dosa batter started sticking to it.

Lavanya may have her flaws, but she wasn’t a bad person and seemed to genuinely like Arnav. She was bending over backwards to impress Arnav and that had to count for something. Anyway, who was she to judge their relationship?

"What do you think you are doing?" Arnav came up at the door of the utility room.

Khushi jumped up in fright. "You scared me!" She turned around.

"Why are you doing the f@#$ing dishes?"

"What's the big deal?" She asked him, "we always helped whenever we visited our relatives."

"Are you visiting relative here?" he asked her bluntly, "is my step mother your aunt – just because you call her auntyji?"

"You are being mean!" Khushi hit back, "Go away. I have work to do." She turned around.

He walked up behind her and grabbed her arm. "I am being mean?" he demanded, "she is the one who is insulting you by making you cook and clean!"

"I did that in Udupi as well." She shrugged of his hand and continued her work.

"That was different," he retorted, "Ma was unable to cook for herself and you needed a place to stay. It was a win-win."

"Leave me alone!" Khushi admonished him, "I want to finish this quickly and go to bed."

    "I will help you finish quickly." He stepped up right behind her, uncomfortably close, making her heart beat erratically.

"This house has too many people," Lavanya's voice rang out from the kitchen.

Lavanya seemed to be talking on the phone. Arnav grabbed Khushi's hand and pushed her into a small store room on the other end of the utility area. The room was dark except for a little light from the utility room streaming in through a small window above the door. The room was packed with old furniture and had just enough space for a person to stand which meant they had to stand plastered to each other, to fit into the space.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"It's Lavanya – she could have seen us together," he whispered back.

"So, what?"

"That's true – I have no idea why I did that," he said, "let's get out."

"We can't do that now!"

Lavanya strolled into the utility area. "I am telling the truth Emily!" She said, "nothing happened that night. All my shopping for the enticing lingerie went to waste. Well not a complete waste. I will use it for another day."

It was obvious that Lavanya was talking about the date night she had with Arnav at the Merlin Hotel. As Arnav looked vexed, she couldn’t suppress the smile that came on her face.

"I think he may have been intimidated by me, you know," she was telling Emily, "some men are scared of strong women."

"Scared? My foot!" Arnav bit out making Khushi suppress a laugh. This was getting interesting.

"He said he was sick after eating fish," Lavanya seemed to explaining to her friend, "No Emily of course not!  -- " she paused, "I don't think anything is wrong with his -- libido!"

"What the --?" Arnav swore and looked down at Khushi who seemed to be wriggling. Arnav realized she was trying to control laughter.

"I am sure he likes women," Lavanya was saying.

"Arnav, do something!" she murmured into his chest, "I don’t think I will be able control it."

"There's only one way then," he said as he held her chin and captured her lips swallowing any sound that might have come out of her. Then his tongue laved her lips and she helplessly opened her mouth to welcome him. Since there was not even a hair's breadth between them, heat spread through her body as she felt his arousal pressing into her stomach. His hands slipped into her top to feel the smooth skin of her waist. As his tongue continued to play havoc with hers, his hands moved up to cup her breast, kneading the soft flesh through her flimsy material of her bra. Khushi clutched the hard muscles of his shoulders as she felt liquid heat pooling in the pit of her stomach.

After what seemed like an eternity, Arnav lifted his head.

"What do you think?"

Enlightenment dawned on Khushi. "If this was some sort of experiment to prove Lavanya wrong -- then don’t you think you are barking up the wrong tree?" She walked out of the store room. "Now just leave me alone so I can finish up here!"

A little later as Khushi cleaned the kitchen, she felt a flip flop in her tummy thinking about the kiss in the store room. Indrani Raizada stood at the door of the kitchen watching.

"I wish I could chuck HP and hire you," she said as she walked in, "you are so much better than that "good for nothing" oaf."

"Please auntyji, Hariprakashji is a very good man."

"That's not something I can say about you though."

Khushi looked up in shock. "Excuse me?"

"Don’t act naïve with me," she said harshly, "I know the likes of you. You have latched yourself to Arnav for his money, haven't you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don’t think I am unaware of what is going on under my own roof. I didn’t know his standards are so low. Like father like son I guess."

"Auntyji!"

"I am sure he has told you," Indrani continued unfazed, "did he cry on your shoulder about his sad life?"

"He never said a word to me." Khushi said.

"What can he say to you?" she asked her scornfully, "I am the victim here. My whole world came crashing down when I found out about that slut who had slept with my husband – and then years later this boy appeared."

"Auntyji, please you have to make peace with that and move on."

"Move on?" she asked her wide eyed, "I will see how you move on when your husband comes and says – he was with another woman!"

When Khushi fell silent she screamed. " Cat go your tongue? Answer me!"

"I was thinking that you are an elder and that I should not disrespect you," Khushi said, "but since you insist I will say this.

"This happens due to two reasons most of the times. One – the marriage is weak or two the spouse is weak.

"If the marriage is weak then I might want to talk to my spouse to see if there is any chance of repairing the marriage. If not I will just walk out." She paused.

"If the spouse is weak – then there is nothing to talk -- I will just walk out."

"Wow -- where is all this psychobabble coming from? Oh right – you are a counselor. So, miss know-it-all – how would you handle your husband's illegitimate child when you already have one of your own?"

"I would never be so cruel as to take it out on an innocent child. You had one child – you wouldn’t lose anything by loving another motherless child, would you?"

Khushi felt the sharp sting on her cheek as Indrani slapped her. "How dare you?" she raged.

"I am sorry auntyji," Khushi apologized, "but I don’t regret what I said."

"You little –" Indrani raised her hand again but before she could hit again, her hand was held back.

"I think that's enough!" Arnav said, his face hard as stone. "Khushi, go to your room."

"Arnav –"

"Khushi please!"

After Khushi left, Arnav looked at Indrani. "Did you just slap Khushi? It looks like you are turning out to be one of the vamp-like characters in the daily soaps you watch every day!"

"That girl deserved it!" Indrani shouted, "she insulted me."

"You are the one who is insulting her," he rasped, "do you think I don’t understand the game you are playing?"

"So much support for a cheap girl you are sleeping with."

When Arnav looked up in surprise she continued. "I saw you buttoning up your shirt as you walked out of her room early in the morning. I seriously don’t give a damn who you sleep with but it can't be under my roof. She has got to leave!"

"Alright then I will also leave this house."

"Do what you like! Why should I care when my darling son is rotting away in some Godforsaken place?"

"Whose fault is that?"

Indrani's eyes turned into slits. "You can't get away that easily," she said scornfully, "You have to go through with this marriage to Lavanya and you know it. Don’t forget the promise you made your father five years ago!"

A little later Arnav knocked on Khushi's door. After she opened it he stepped inside and took her in his arms. "Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize," she said, "I said some things I shouldn’t have."

"I don’t believe that."

"It's true but she deserved it just as I deserved the slap. We are even."

Arnav looked at her, his brown eyes rife with concern as he bent down and touched his lips to her cheek. He kissed her again and again as though the act could heal the pain.

"Why are you doing this Khushi?" he asked, his tone anguished.

Because I love you … Khushi wanted to say but it made no sense to repeat herself. "I would do this for any friend of mine."

"I am not your friend Khushi!" Arnav exclaimed angrily. He looked into her eyes. "I really wish sometimes that we were really just friends but this compulsion cannot be called that."

Compulsion not love.

"Maybe you don’t think that way but I do."

"How can you say that after everything that happened?" he demanded, "Looks like you don’t want to accept reality  – just like --" he paused.

She waited in anticipation of what he was going to say.

He walked to the window looking out into the darkness.

"Do you know anyone called Nandita Shanbogue from Udupi?" he asked out of the blue.

"I don’t think so," she said, "why?"

"When I went to Mangalore couple of weeks ago, a woman and her friend had come to talk to my friend DCP Ajay Singh Rathod about her missing daughter Nandita. Her friend was Mrs. Shetty—your family friend."

"Oh -- but how do you know Mrs. Shetty?"

"We met her in Rashmi's uncle's house, remember?"

"Right, how could I forget that?" she said, "I think I may have met Nandita along with Vibha when I came to visit in Udupi. Is she missing? When did this happen?"

"I don’t know exactly but the police had stopped looking as she was a junkie," he said, "now that Rathod is back, her mother wants to re-open the case. Ajay is a sincere officer – so he will help her because junkie or not she deserves justice."

"Did you go to Mangalore to visit Mr. Rathod?" she asked carefully. She wondered if he had anything more to say about her digging up the files.

"No I went there because Rashmi needed some help with her case. "Arnav was silent for a few moments. "Then when I called Ajay, he asked me to come over to discuss something important with me regarding the drug racket."

"Does he usually discuss cases with you?" Khushi asked.

"All this started a long ago when I went to Udupi to study engineering. In the first year, I kept to myself mostly, bored with studies and then I met Ajay Singh Rathod our family friend's son who was newly posted there. He asked me if I could help him out for an important operation they were working on."

"You mean like police work?" Khushi asked in awe.

He nodded. "There was a drug racket going on in town that he wanted to bust. Since they were targeting students, he wanted me to keep an eye. I was excited with this new adventure and began to hang out with some of these suspects.

"There was a time I really wanted to join the police force so I wrote the preliminary exam for IPS and passed it." He reminisced with a smile, "I used to go to the shooting gallery and practice."

"Really?" Khushi remembered Manav telling her about Arnav's "dangerous" reputation. This was probably why Payal's friends had that impression about Arnav.

 "Ajay had strictly told me not to get involved. But I thought I was some sort of vigilante and ended up helping Manav. He gave me a warning never to do this again."

"Then you helped Payal as well." Khushi said carefully.

"Yes, I got a good dressing down from Ajay," Arnav said, "He told me I had almost compromised the operation. After this, he told me to back off.

"I took his advice. End of story. It's getting late – I better go and get some sleep." He left the room quickly.

Just when she thought he would talk about Payal, he had clammed up.

An hour later, Khushi woke up from her bed sweating profusely. When she heard a knock, she went and opened the door to see Arnav standing there.

"I was on a call in the hallway when I heard your scream," he said, "what happened?'

"It was a nightmare," she said, "I get them often so don’t worry about it. Go to bed."

Arnav walked inside the room. "What is it about?"

"Payal." She told him about her nightmares. "It became more frequent since Udupi."

He walked up to her and took her in his arms, stroking her hair in soothing motions.

"After I had saved Payal from the drug gang -- for the first time in my life, I had friends -- Manav, Rashmi and Payal. "

Khushi's heart beat with trepidation.

Arnav was silent for several moments and Khushi thought he wouldn’t respond. "For me Payal was the same as Manav – they were both my friends and I would do anything for them." He continued. " When I found out that Payal had feelings for me --- I didn’t know how to react. She knew about Rashmi all along but she still harboured feelings for me. F!@# I wasn’t even sure about my feelings for Rashmi!"

"Maybe she had sensed that and hoped –"

"The thing is that – even if Rashmi wasn’t around I would never have feelings for her!" He said emphatically, "that's the truth."

Khushi felt sorry for Payal.

"When I told her that it was probably infatuation, she broke down in tears and I blew my top. I guess I overreacted. It became messy and ended up in a" break up" even though we didn’t really have that sort of relationship."

Arnav stepped back and raked a hand over his hair.

Payal's perception of life had been somewhat warped, thanks to their parents' issues. Not only had Payal suffered the consequences of the decisions she had made, she had also unwittingly caused a lot of trouble for Arnav.

Khushi touched his shoulder. "It wasn’t your fault Arnav," she looked deep into his eyes. "Neither was it hers. We can't control who we fall in love with right?"

"You have no idea –" His eyes were moist.

"Tell me -- so I can understand." She implored.

His eyes turned into slits. "What do you want to know Khushi?" He demanded, as he caught her arms roughly. "Do you want to how I was arrested, grilled by the police over and over again?"

"I am sorry --" she couldn’t continue as his fingers dug into her soft skin.

"I was treated like a bloody criminal until Rathod came to my rescue."

Tears streamed down Khushi's eyes. "Sorry."

He let her go. "When people don’t accept reality – others end up paying a big price for it." He looked at her, a muscle ticking in his jaw. He walked out of the room.

Khushi paced the room unable to sleep. Finally, Arnav had opened up about Payal – at least to an extent. Whatever happened in the past between them had been too painful for Arnav to forget and this would always come in the way of their relationship. What was she thinking?

Arnav's behavior in the past month told her that he was not as indifferent as he wanted her to think. It wasn’t just the physical pull, she knew he had feelings for her, but he seemed to be in some sort of conundrum and that was probably because of his family.

You have to go through with this marriage to Lavanya and you know it. Don’t forget the promise you made your father five years ago …

She had overheard Indrani Raizada's fateful words to Arnav earlier. His family dynamics was a lot more complicated than she had imagined. She couldn’t add to his complication any more. It was time to accept reality and pack her bags.